Today I realized that my blog has reached over 3000 views, 3 030 to be exact, in the (nearly) 2 years it has been running! This is so incredible and I’m extremely thankful to all of those who took the time to read my posts. WordPress is a community that I have a deep love for. In the real world, people may often neglect the opinion’s of others based on their status – be it social or financial. Some may refuse to hear the words of others simply because of their race/ethnicity, gender, sexuality, religion, and or nationality. But in this digital world, everyone has a chance to speak up and share their thoughts. There are no boundaries. There is no prejudice. WordPress is a place where truly everyone is equal. We are all bloggers. We all started with 0 followers, 0 views, 0 likes and 0 comments. I am so grateful to be part of a community that, unknowingly, is so open, kind and motivating to one another. Thank you all for the views and I can’t wait for the journey ahead here on 4therace!
I hate you. A “Hello” is a “Hello”. Nothing more. Nothing less. But to you it has an underlying meaning. A meaning that you will not desist from unraveling until you have driven me to the point of insanity.
The world does not revolve around you but for some reason you believe that everyone is always watching. No one is, but you assure me that they are. Always. I feel their nonexistent glances everywhere I go.
Anxiety, because of you I cannot breathe. When I should feel safe, I instead feel the world crumbling down on top of me. I stay still but my heart races as if I just ran a mile. I might have friends but you think they all hate me. And if you think so, I think so. I loved myself but you told me I wasn’t worth anything. You hate me? Well, I hate you too.
People are everywhere but you won’t let me talk to them. The hardest part is that no one knows that I have to climb a mountain just to speak. Sometimes I summit, but you aren’t that generous. You start to control my body. I become the puppet and you the puppeteer. I’m awkward enough but you have to let the world know don’t you? Do they see me? Do they notice? Do they hate me. Am I… and your vicious cycle continues.
Anxiety, you’re there almost all the time. Almost all the time. So when you loosen your grasp for that one instant and give me just a little air, life is wonderful. I feel love, and joy, and happy. Because of the lows I feel with you I humbly recognize all the beauty in life.
Anxiety, you destroy me, you eat me alive, you tear me apart but I must say you are a blessing not a burden. You teach me that life is often filled with pain and sadness so that I can hold on to the few, yet precious moments.
Anxiety, I used to hate you but now I love you. I wished you were gone but I want you to stay now. In the most awful way, you managed to teach me that life is a gift.
The Anxious Host
This post was heavily inspired by the rapper Logic’s song Anziety where he delivers a speech that ensures a hopeful future to fans/listeners who suffer of the disorder.
If you suffer from an Anxiety, know that you are not alone…
A short story by Fabrice Nozier
There are two things in life you wish to never experience. The first is not being able to see when you wake up, and the second is waking up in a place where you did not fall asleep. Actually I lied, there are three things you wish to never experience in life and the third is waking up in a place where you did not fall asleep with no recollection of how you got there. Unfortunately I experienced all three of these things at once on Saturday night when I woke up on a cold floor and couldn’t see anything.
If you read my previous post you’ve learned that I’m starting to open up more on the story of my anxiety here on 4therace. This is my first time opening up about it, so I hope I increasingly grow better at expressing myself over time. Perhaps I didn’t explain the history of my anxieties too well, or it isn’t clear how exactly I feel when I’m anxious.
In all honesty, 4therace was never going to include posts on films and television. Nor was it going to be riddled of short essays, stories, or the occasional screenplay excerpt. Originally 4therace was made to discuss two obstacles I have had to deal with in my life, the first is living in a single parent home and the second is my anxiety. I wanted to build a community of individuals who have endured the same struggles hoping that my blog could help them. Not only did I want to help others, but I thought that by writing and expressing my social situation to the world I could help myself. Unfortunately, when 4therace was officially completed I “chickened out” and grew increasingly scared about how people would receive my story. I questioned if people would undermine my struggle or tell me it was blown way out of proportion. Fear stricken, I decided to scratch the personal side of my blog and write whatever was on my head at the time (I spawned The Pessimist’s Optimistic Way to Obtain World Peace). But this blog is called 4therace and I want to connect with all people of different colours, creeds and backgrounds. Humbly, I can say I’ve done quite well thus far but there is still room to expand and connect to more social groups. I think it’s time to come out of my shell, and finally write about what I originally intended to do in the summer of 2015. My anxiety.
For the past couple of weeks I haven’t posted as frequently on WordPress as I am adjusting to a new lifestyle and a new schedule. In fact, I have just begun my freshman year at university and I’m still learning how to balance my time in this brand new environment. Finally,after my third week in college, I’ve learned more or less how to organize myself and leave time for leisure and other endeavors such as writing on 4therace! In the near future be sure to expect so more short stories and analyses/ reviews on film and television. Once again sorry for the unexpected hiatus!
Some posts I am working on include:
My opinion on Mr. Robot’s cinematic sophomore season
Why I love the Star Wars Prequels (+why they don’t suck)
Why Numerical Film Ratings Mean Absolutely Nothing
Thank you so much evelynfilmfan for nominating me for the Sunshine Blogger Award. I had an amazing time doing the Liebster Award and had loads of fun doing this one. Before I explain what the Sunshine Blogger Award is, I ask that you please check out evelynfilmfan page on film and television and follow it too.
Exactly 1 year ago I joined WordPress and embarked on my mission to share my deepest thoughts with the world, or at least the finite amount of people of WordPress. Featuring pieces on racism, frequent analysis of film and television, some reviews on novels and couple of short stories, I am so proud of how diverse this blog has truly become.
I thank all my followers for continuously inspiring me to write, tells stories and share a piece of myself on 4therace.
It’s been nearly a year since my very first post on WordPress. I’ve created quite interesting essays, short stories, analysis on films, and have garnered a respectable amount of followers too. To expand my thoughts even further I decided to create a new blog, a Tumblr. This blog will mainly consists of more visual content than the written ones found here at 4therace. If you are fond of this blog, please go and check out the other expansion of my imagination at http://thefourthmind.tumblr.com/.
There you’ll find posts like:
Thank You So Much FlickBox for nominating me for the Liebster Award! FlickBox is one of my favorite bloggers who writes on a subject that I often write on too, cinema. Before I answer the 11 questions created for FlickBox’s 11 nominees I recommend anyone and everyone to check out and follow FlickBox.
The rules of the Liebster Award are simple!
- Thank those who nominated you
- Nominate 11 other bloggers
- Answer the 11 questions that those who nominated you created [for the 11 I nominated the questions are below]
- Let those 11 know you nominated them
- Create 11 Questions for your 11 nominees
FlickBox’s Questions Are:
1. What is your favourite horror movie ?
Not a huge fan of the genre but I would have to say The Cabin in the Woods  directed by Drew Goddard. I love that movie.
2. If you could be a movie bad guy, which one would you be ?
Really tough question but I’d have to say Captain America in Captain America Civil War. In Civil War he is the good bad guy, he is doing the right thing but is technically the antagonists against the world governments and Team Iron Man. If I were Cap at the end of the day I’d still be marked as a rogue but I wouldn’t lose at the end [spoiler alert]!
3. Would you let a movie crew film in your house ?
Of course I would, as long as I got to see the production process.
4. What kind of movie would you like to star in ? Why ?
Any upcoming Star Wars movie. Why? Because the sets, as seen in The Force Awakens, would have so much authenticity and would feel so lively that it would be as if I were actually immersed in one of my favorite cinematic universes.
5. Which movie star should live forever ?
I’d say Robert De Niro.
6. Would you like to be an actor/actress ? Why or why not ?
At the moment no because I’d be way too self-conscience to see myself on screen + I do not like the sound of my voice.
7. Do you think movies have been developing technology or technology has been developing movies ?
I believe that it’s a bit of both. Technology such as virtual reality headsets are propelling cinema further, for example IMAX wanting to create VR cinemas. In other cases technology in film has an influence on real world tech. For example Stanley Kubrick’s 2001 inspired Apple and even Robert Zemeckis’s Back to the Future II inspired Nike, finally, to begin developing the self-lacing sneakers.
8. If you were to be an actor / actress, which director would you like to work with ? And actor ?
Probably Darren Aronofsky. Aronofsky is one of my favorite directors and his films have resonated so strongly with me. All of his films are extremely character driven and really immerse not only the actors but the audience into his stories. Being part of one of his worlds and getting lost in them with co-actors would be an amazing experience. As for an actor I’d love to work with, probably Joseph Gordon Levitt and or Natalie Portman; they seem like really nice people.
9. Would you rather be in a movie, or be given $500.000 ?
I would rather be in a movie because my salary would be more than $500 and I get to part of the magic of cinema. I would love to be in a Star Wars movie as said in number 4.
10. Think of a boring movie you’ve seen. Is there a way to make it better ?
Not to say that the Revenant is boring but it was a bit slow. Don’t get me wrong DiCaprio’s performance was stellar and the cinematography of Emmanuel Lubezki and direction of Alejandro G. Inaritu created an absolutely gorgeous film. However, carrying the movie on Leo’s back for most of the film was a bit tiresome. One way to make it better could’ve been to create a more lyrical score.
11. Which movie has the best story ? Tell me about it.
Really tough question. There is no telling what the best story is, it may not be subjective but it’s incredibly difficult to decide. Some of the best stories are found in Science Fiction and Fantasy films such as Star Wars and Lord of the Rings, you can also find great stories in Tarantino films such as Pulp Fiction and Django Unchained. So I don’t give an expected response, I would like like to say that Princess Mononoke has one of the greatest stories. Even if you are not fond of anime, Princess Mononoke should be a truly engaging experience. At the core it is essentially a story between humans and animals over a forest but dig a little deeper and it’s a film with the strongest characters, a moving plot, an extremely lyrical score, strong themes on deforestation and the evil of humanity. From the first minutes to the very last seconds of the movies climatic battle, viewers will be completely lost in Hayao Miyazaki’s world of Princess Mononoke. PLEASE, PLEASE SEE IT!
My 11 Nominees Are:
FlickBox (Who Nominated Me)
Daisy in the Willows (Extremely special because she is the 10th blogger to ever follow me!)
Mettel Ray (one of my favourite bloggers ever)
My 11 Questions Are:
- What are your 5 favorite films?
- What is the best film you’ve seen in 2016 thus far?
- What are your 3 favorite television shows that you are currently watching?
- If you have one, what was your favorite cartoon series growing up? Why?
- Who are 5 celebrities you’d invite to a dinner?
- Who is your hero or someone you look up to? Why?
- What is your favorite movie franchise [for example Star Wars, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, etc.]?
- Who is your favorite female hero on television or film ever? Why?
- Would you rather have a Dragon or a Pegasus?
- Would you rather be able to travel through outer space or time?
- What advice do you have to give to someone who wants to be more confident?
Please check out all 11 of my nominees they are all great nominees!