Life Question #2

Having social anxiety can hinder your ability to interact in casual conversation and can make it difficult to even interact with those who you may consider close to you. Do you tell the latter that despite being the few people you feel comfortable around they still make you anxious or do you forever keep to yourself?

 

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MY FUNKO POP COLLECTION!

If Fabrice is going to be seduced by consumerism it’s because miniature figures of his favorite characters in pop culture exist. My Funko Pop collection began last christmas when I bought myself Captain Marvel while also purchasing Maz Kanata and Jyn Erso for my younger sister as a christmas. Now my squad has six more additions, small yes, but heading towards an inevitably larger number soon.

Going from left to right I’ve got Snap Wexley (an X-Wing pilot from Force Awakens), my ideological grandfather Bernie Sanders, my favorite Harry Potter character Bellatrix, Naruto (check why I love him here), Elliot from my favorite series Mr.Robot, my favorite character in Game of Thrones Arya Stark, and one of my favorite heroes from Marvel Comics Captain Marvel!

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I’m 19-years-old and I’m Scared of the Movies…?

Yesterday I turned 19-years-old, really not that old, but still older than I’ve ever been before. Every year I face this sense of melancholy after being shocked at how close adulthood is approaching – it’s practically here now. It isn’t until a couple years later, through the ability of hindsight, that I come to realize how young I really was. When I turned 14, and I didn’t think that was really young until I was 17, and now that I’m 19, 17 seems really young as well. Maybe it’s my anxiety that results in me constantly worrying about how I will be ‘later’ and how I was ‘then’ rather than focusing on how I am ‘now’.

This time around my biggest fear about the days after September 2nd, 2017 is my ability to immerse in my favorite form of escapism, movies. At a young age, heroes like Harry Potter, Luke Skywalker, and even freaking Naruto – who were all older than me – lost me in their fictitious worlds, encouraged me to be kind-hearted, a hero, and most of all never give up. I couldn’t help be feel like my imagination and connection with fiction would weaken as I grow older, and it freaking scared the hell out of me. Stories and movies are my everything and I feel like, somehow, I’ll let go of them over time.

But today I say FUCK THAT!  I’ll only be 19-years-old 364 times until I fully depart being a teenageer and then it’s off to the twenties.  So this year, officially, I’m done with going through this feeling of pensive sadness and just learning to just live in the now and appreciate the blessing that is life. There is no reason to fear getting older. My imagination, as long as I live, will never fade away. And movies will always be movies. Happy belated to me!

What’s on your mind?

Anziety- Logic [Song of the Week #2]

Logic isn’t just one of my favorite rappers/artist ever, but one of my favorite people ever. Born as Sir Robert Bryson Hall III, Logic grew up in Gaithersburg, Maryland where drugs, crime and gang life where all apparent in his household. With an abusive mother and  an absent father who was addicted to crack, Logic found an escape through rap music. The list of all the terrible things he witnessed is endless, yet he came out as a well spoken, inspirational figure who represents Peace, Love and Positivity. He never really made music that explicitly boosted the morale of people but unintentionally has changed the lives of so many, including myself. In his third studio album Everybody, Logic raps at the perspective of multiple people aiming his targeted audience at, well, Everybody! No song resonated with me as much as Anziety, yes Anziety not Anxiety, where Logic not only raps for sufferers of the disorder but at the perspective of the disorder as well. 

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Why Can’t They Hear Me Screaming?

A short story by Fabrice Nozier

There are two things in life you wish to never experience. The first is not being able to see when you wake up, and the second is waking up in a place where you did not fall asleep. Actually I lied, there are three things you wish to never experience in life and the third is waking up in a place where you did not fall asleep with no recollection of how you got there. Unfortunately I experienced all three of these things at once on Saturday night when I woke up on a cold floor and couldn’t see anything.

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What Anxiety Feels Like For Me [My Worst Attack]

If you read my previous post you’ve learned that I’m starting to open up more on the story of my anxiety here on 4therace. This is my first time opening up about it, so I hope I increasingly grow better at expressing myself over time. Perhaps I didn’t explain the history of my anxieties too well, or it isn’t clear how exactly I feel when I’m anxious.

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The Story of My Anxiety

In all honesty, 4therace was never going to include posts on films and television. Nor was it going to be riddled of short essays, stories, or the occasional screenplay excerpt. Originally 4therace was made to discuss two obstacles I have had to deal with in my life, the first is living in a single parent home and the second is my anxiety. I wanted to build a community of individuals who have endured the same struggles hoping that my blog could help them. Not only did I want to help others, but I thought that by writing and expressing my social situation to the world I could help myself. Unfortunately, when 4therace was officially completed I “chickened out” and grew increasingly scared about how people would receive my story.  I questioned if people would undermine my struggle or tell me it was blown way out of proportion. Fear stricken, I decided to scratch the personal side of my blog and write whatever was on my head at the time (I spawned The Pessimist’s Optimistic Way to Obtain World Peace). But this blog is called 4therace and I want to connect with all people of different colours, creeds and backgrounds. Humbly, I can say I’ve done quite well thus far but there is still room to expand and connect to more social groups. I think it’s time to come out of my shell, and finally write about what I originally intended to do in the summer of 2015. My anxiety.

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