What Anxiety Feels Like For Me [My Worst Attack]

If you read my previous post you’ve learned that I’m starting to open up more on the story of my anxiety here on 4therace. This is my first time opening up about it, so I hope I increasingly grow better at expressing myself over time. Perhaps I didn’t explain the history of my anxieties too well, or it isn’t clear how exactly I feel when I’m anxious.

Continue reading “What Anxiety Feels Like For Me [My Worst Attack]”

The Story of My Anxiety

In all honesty, 4therace was never going to include posts on films and television. Nor was it going to be riddled of short essays, stories, or the occasional screenplay excerpt. Originally 4therace was made to discuss two obstacles I have had to deal with in my life, the first is living in a single parent home and the second is my anxiety. I wanted to build a community of individuals who have endured the same struggles hoping that my blog could help them. Not only did I want to help others, but I thought that by writing and expressing my social situation to the world I could help myself. Unfortunately, when 4therace was officially completed I “chickened out” and grew increasingly scared about how people would receive my story.  I questioned if people would undermine my struggle or tell me it was blown way out of proportion. Fear stricken, I decided to scratch the personal side of my blog and write whatever was on my head at the time (I spawned The Pessimist’s Optimistic Way to Obtain World Peace). But this blog is called 4therace and I want to connect with all people of different colours, creeds and backgrounds. Humbly, I can say I’ve done quite well thus far but there is still room to expand and connect to more social groups. I think it’s time to come out of my shell, and finally write about what I originally intended to do in the summer of 2015. My anxiety.

Continue reading “The Story of My Anxiety”

Fictitious Future Fridays #3

If you haven’t already, feel fread to read the Fictitious Future Fridays #2 in order to participate in this week’s……

Now that you’ve chosen whatever location that magic spark has taken you and you’ve selected your tour guide, it’s time to face a crossroad in your journey. Whether you want to explore the galaxy with Han and Chewie, I’m looking at you Michael J. Miller, or you  simply want to visit a snowy park at nighttime, like me, your journey is now asking you to make a decision. A sign which writes “road to success” directs you to turn right. Another sign which writes “don’t go right” directs you left. The navigator, your trusted person you chose to explore your world with you, urges you to go right. Which direction do you go?

My answer: Given that my navigator is my late grandmother, my gut would tell me to listen to her and go right. But given the ambiguity of the sign going left that literally tells me “don’t go right”, I’d want to go left. Why shouldn’t I go right? It promises me success so what can go wrong? What’s there? On the other hand, the leftwards sign tells me don’t go right but doesn’t promise me anything if I choose to go left!!!!! The paradox …..

Please feel free to leave your response below…..

Fictitious Future Fridays #2

If you haven’t already, feel free to read the last Fictitious Future Friday in order to participate in this week’s

The magic pink spark has taken you to the place you wished for last week. Not only does it have the ability to transport you across reality, space, and time but it also can tap into your conscious. In order to explore wherever it has taken you, the spark has selected someone that you know/knew to be your guide in this journey. Who is this person? Why do you think you have selected them.

My answer: I think it would be my late grandmother. I have slept with one of her bed sheets almost everyday since her passing (it’s been 7 years) and her spirit is somewhat a form of protection. She would be the perfect person to guide me in this journey….

Feel free to leave your response in the comments below…..



Fictitous Future Fridays

A spark of light falls from the sky and lands in some grounds near you. It turns out to be a glowing magic rock that has the ability to transport you across reality, space and time. You reach down and grab it. Where does it take you? Why have you chosen this place?

My answer: The spark takes me to a snowy park at nighttime. I think I have chosen this place as I’ve recently played in the snow without seeing it for years and realized how much I loved it. As for why in a park, it’s the perfect place to have fun in the snow.

Feel free to leave your response in the comments below…..


My Sunshine Blogger Award!

Thank you so much evelynfilmfan for nominating me for the Sunshine Blogger Award. I had an amazing time doing the Liebster Award and had loads of fun doing this one. Before I explain what the Sunshine Blogger Award is, I ask that you please check out evelynfilmfan page on film and television and follow it too.

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1 Year Anniversary on WordPress!

Exactly 1 year ago I joined WordPress and embarked on my mission to share my deepest thoughts with the world, or at least the finite amount of people of WordPress. Featuring pieces on racism, frequent analysis of film and television, some reviews on novels and couple of short stories, I am so proud of how diverse this blog has truly become.

I thank all my followers for continuously inspiring me to write, tells stories and share a piece of myself on 4therace.

You, Me and Darkness Itself [Translated for the Mind of a Third]

Part 5 of how “us” began.

The Guardians stared at the leader, perplexed. What had the emergence of Darkness meant? All 6 Guardians assumed that coercive action was the best move; outnumber Darkness and destroy it. The Leader, God, was quick to contradict and said “leave it be”. 5 of the Guardians agreed with the leader without questioning, but one of them had not. It was our Ignotus, the lonely Sixth, the Guardian who was purposely sequestered by God. The Sixth, who I may add, Guarded “us” from Darkness in our earliest stages, had not understood God’s reasoning. If they were to retaliate, the Thirds, you and me (possibly just you), would be engulfed in a battle as catastrophic as the one before the great “slip”. However, if the Guardians and God stood back and did nothing, as The Leader planed to do, Darkness would still exist but under the illumination of The Light. Our world would be plagued predominately of peace.  But, our world today does not mirror such a reality. Not a single community in our 2, 016 year, as you would call it, resembles such as harmonious utopia. Suffering, pain, violence and death plague our societies, so how had the Darkness come to be? Remember, this is a story of “us” came to be. And the story of how you and me and the world we live in was decided through a single decision. Against the orders of God, our Sixth, our prime protector, the Ignotus, fled to the Third and confronted Darkness ……….

Thirds, if you are lost visit  Part 1, Part 2 Part 3 and Part 4

Darkness, God and the Architect [Translated for the Mind of a Third]

Part 4 of how “us” began.

How had Darkness slipped through? More on that later.

The Sixth, who a special group of Fourths would “one day” (pardon me) call “Ignotus”, encountered Darkness and questioned its existence. But Darkness dismissed the Sixth’s questioning and demanded the whereabouts of the other 5 and The Leader. The Sixth became infuriated but Darkness merely laughed. Darkness asked “Why does your ‘Leader’ take 5 and leave you behind? Is it because your ‘Leader’ thinks you are weak, useless, unworthy?” The Sixth was quick to protest but Darkness interrupted, “Then why are you alone?” asked Darkness. The Sixth felt the need to retaliate, but was halted by the nearing presence of the other 5 and God and immediately “slipped” back to the post. Darkness watched the Sixth “slip” with a sense of sinister curiosity.

The Sixth immediately told the other 5 guardians and God of the occurrence putting God in a state of deep pensive. The Sixth questioned its existence to which God remained in a deeper reflection. “No” whispered God.  God reflected on the teachings of the architect before this cosmos, the first architect, the true created of all, for God even had a master once….

 Part 1, Part 2 , and Part 3