Finally, FINALLY I got to see Spiderman: Homecoming tonight a little after a week since its release. This film looked extremely promising based on the teasers, trailers, dedication and deep care the cast showed for this project, especially Tom Holland (Peter Parker/Spiderman) and it really didn’t disappoint. Maybe it’s a little premature to say this but Spiderman: Homecoming may just be my favorite spidey film to date.
Today I realized that my blog has reached over 3000 views, 3 030 to be exact, in the (nearly) 2 years it has been running! This is so incredible and I’m extremely thankful to all of those who took the time to read my posts. WordPress is a community that I have a deep love for. In the real world, people may often neglect the opinion’s of others based on their status – be it social or financial. Some may refuse to hear the words of others simply because of their race/ethnicity, gender, sexuality, religion, and or nationality. But in this digital world, everyone has a chance to speak up and share their thoughts. There are no boundaries. There is no prejudice. WordPress is a place where truly everyone is equal. We are all bloggers. We all started with 0 followers, 0 views, 0 likes and 0 comments. I am so grateful to be part of a community that, unknowingly, is so open, kind and motivating to one another. Thank you all for the views and I can’t wait for the journey ahead here on 4therace!
I hate you. A “Hello” is a “Hello”. Nothing more. Nothing less. But to you it has an underlying meaning. A meaning that you will not desist from unraveling until you have driven me to the point of insanity.
The world does not revolve around you but for some reason you believe that everyone is always watching. No one is, but you assure me that they are. Always. I feel their nonexistent glances everywhere I go.
Anxiety, because of you I cannot breathe. When I should feel safe, I instead feel the world crumbling down on top of me. I stay still but my heart races as if I just ran a mile. I might have friends but you think they all hate me. And if you think so, I think so. I loved myself but you told me I wasn’t worth anything. You hate me? Well, I hate you too.
People are everywhere but you won’t let me talk to them. The hardest part is that no one knows that I have to climb a mountain just to speak. Sometimes I summit, but you aren’t that generous. You start to control my body. I become the puppet and you the puppeteer. I’m awkward enough but you have to let the world know don’t you? Do they see me? Do they notice? Do they hate me. Am I… and your vicious cycle continues.
Anxiety, you’re there almost all the time. Almost all the time. So when you loosen your grasp for that one instant and give me just a little air, life is wonderful. I feel love, and joy, and happy. Because of the lows I feel with you I humbly recognize all the beauty in life.
Anxiety, you destroy me, you eat me alive, you tear me apart but I must say you are a blessing not a burden. You teach me that life is often filled with pain and sadness so that I can hold on to the few, yet precious moments.
Anxiety, I used to hate you but now I love you. I wished you were gone but I want you to stay now. In the most awful way, you managed to teach me that life is a gift.
The Anxious Host
This post was heavily inspired by the rapper Logic’s song Anziety where he delivers a speech that ensures a hopeful future to fans/listeners who suffer of the disorder.
If you suffer from an Anxiety, know that you are not alone…
If you read my previous post you’ve learned that I’m starting to open up more on the story of my anxiety here on 4therace. This is my first time opening up about it, so I hope I increasingly grow better at expressing myself over time. Perhaps I didn’t explain the history of my anxieties too well, or it isn’t clear how exactly I feel when I’m anxious.
In all honesty, 4therace was never going to include posts on films and television. Nor was it going to be riddled of short essays, stories, or the occasional screenplay excerpt. Originally 4therace was made to discuss two obstacles I have had to deal with in my life, the first is living in a single parent home and the second is my anxiety. I wanted to build a community of individuals who have endured the same struggles hoping that my blog could help them. Not only did I want to help others, but I thought that by writing and expressing my social situation to the world I could help myself. Unfortunately, when 4therace was officially completed I “chickened out” and grew increasingly scared about how people would receive my story. I questioned if people would undermine my struggle or tell me it was blown way out of proportion. Fear stricken, I decided to scratch the personal side of my blog and write whatever was on my head at the time (I spawned The Pessimist’s Optimistic Way to Obtain World Peace). But this blog is called 4therace and I want to connect with all people of different colours, creeds and backgrounds. Humbly, I can say I’ve done quite well thus far but there is still room to expand and connect to more social groups. I think it’s time to come out of my shell, and finally write about what I originally intended to do in the summer of 2015. My anxiety.
If you haven’t already, feel fread to read the Fictitious Future Fridays #2 in order to participate in this week’s……
Now that you’ve chosen whatever location that magic spark has taken you and you’ve selected your tour guide, it’s time to face a crossroad in your journey. Whether you want to explore the galaxy with Han and Chewie, I’m looking at you Michael J. Miller, or you simply want to visit a snowy park at nighttime, like me, your journey is now asking you to make a decision. A sign which writes “road to success” directs you to turn right. Another sign which writes “don’t go right” directs you left. The navigator, your trusted person you chose to explore your world with you, urges you to go right. Which direction do you go?
My answer: Given that my navigator is my late grandmother, my gut would tell me to listen to her and go right. But given the ambiguity of the sign going left that literally tells me “don’t go right”, I’d want to go left. Why shouldn’t I go right? It promises me success so what can go wrong? What’s there? On the other hand, the leftwards sign tells me don’t go right but doesn’t promise me anything if I choose to go left!!!!! The paradox …..
Please feel free to leave your response below…..
If you haven’t already, feel free to read the last Fictitious Future Friday in order to participate in this week’s
The magic pink spark has taken you to the place you wished for last week. Not only does it have the ability to transport you across reality, space, and time but it also can tap into your conscious. In order to explore wherever it has taken you, the spark has selected someone that you know/knew to be your guide in this journey. Who is this person? Why do you think you have selected them.
My answer: I think it would be my late grandmother. I have slept with one of her bed sheets almost everyday since her passing (it’s been 7 years) and her spirit is somewhat a form of protection. She would be the perfect person to guide me in this journey….
Feel free to leave your response in the comments below…..
A spark of light falls from the sky and lands in some grounds near you. It turns out to be a glowing magic rock that has the ability to transport you across reality, space and time. You reach down and grab it. Where does it take you? Why have you chosen this place?
My answer: The spark takes me to a snowy park at nighttime. I think I have chosen this place as I’ve recently played in the snow without seeing it for years and realized how much I loved it. As for why in a park, it’s the perfect place to have fun in the snow.
Feel free to leave your response in the comments below…..
Thank you so much evelynfilmfan for nominating me for the Sunshine Blogger Award. I had an amazing time doing the Liebster Award and had loads of fun doing this one. Before I explain what the Sunshine Blogger Award is, I ask that you please check out evelynfilmfan page on film and television and follow it too.